It has come down to the fact that my partner has asked me to quit drinking, or leave her and let her be. I must confess, I am tempted to do this, but when I seriously think about this, I know it would be "running away" on my part, as I have done all my life.
I must find a way to face life without alcohol.
Also, if I put myself in her shoes, I must say that I wouldn't like me either. I guess that is some of the problem. I have very low self esteem and do not like myself very much. I have been a failure as a family man and in business. It is due in part to an amoral outlook on life and the evil thought process which allowed me to to think that everything would work out. After some reading and some contemplation, I am convinced that something very evil in the world was allowed by me, to enter my soul.Well, if it has, I am now getting a a blurred image trying to come into focus,as to why I keep avoiding the facing life and the truth.
I have beautiful grandchildren and my partner has beautiful grandchildren
As of Friday, Feb 17/12, I am again on the road to make myself a better person and to love myself more so that in the remaining years that I have, at least my grandkids will remember me fondly.
Part of my new me will be with the help of Jesus. I was pretty much aware of His story, but conveniently put off getting to know Him better, because it would interfere with this life I felt I must lead.
Now is the time to figure out how I can leave this Earth a better man and with the love of myself and my family.
I ask your forgiveness lord and fore You to abide in me and show me how the abide in You
Amen
Sunday 19 February 2012
Thursday 28 July 2011
My Past Week
My past week has been better than most. My grandson has been visiting and I have been to three dinner parties.
Except for one night, I have not had a drink, which is an accomplishment for me.
I have hooked up with a couple of church guys, and they are doing their thing to help me change my path.
My health is good and my intentions are good. (I know,I know), but they are and I will conquer this alcoholism
Except for one night, I have not had a drink, which is an accomplishment for me.
I have hooked up with a couple of church guys, and they are doing their thing to help me change my path.
My health is good and my intentions are good. (I know,I know), but they are and I will conquer this alcoholism
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